Re: The Bountiful Burrowing Barnacle

Brody "the Bodman" DickworthErudite and scientific though his language may be, it does unfortunately appear that Dr. Cox’s analysis of the barnacle penis has, like so many other things in his life, come up short.  So that the rest of this article can maintain an appropriate level of scientific objectivity, there is one matter I should clear up now:  My brain has chewed your “food for thought” Richard, but it tasted too much like bitter jealousy to swallow.

I primarily take issue with Dr. Cox’s dogmatic assertion that the greatness of an animal’s penis, as far as size goes, ought to be measured by the PBR (this is the penis to body size ratio, for the non-specialists out there).  For example, until a few years ago I was a world class body builder (“The Bodman”) and indeed my physique remains outstanding.  It would be uncouth to reveal its length publicly, but however long my penis may be, could the fact that I have packed on so much muscle make it any less impressive?

Thus I believe we must drop any claim that penile greatness is simply a matter of having a high PBR.  I am more inclined to think that it is absolute size alone by which penises should be judged, and in this case we must indeed cede penile superiority to whales, elephants, horses, and men with penises larger than ten inches.

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