First of all, thank you Brody for that insightful post. Really exemplary work. You have not changed a bit after all these years.
All adulation aside, Brody’s post did remind me of one extraordinary specimen in the grand menagerie of animal penises: the barnacle’s penis.
Barnacles lead a stoic existence, confined to a rock or a hard place for the entirety of their life. Despite their humble appearance, some species of barnacle wield what may be the longest penis of any animal at up to eight times its body length; see Table 1 below for some comparisons.