Re: Detachable Penises

Brody "the Bodman" DickworthI concur largely with Dr. Cox’s analysis of the hectocotyli of argonauts, especially in relation to the effect that detachable penises would have on human society.  I would like to add only the following observation:  There are some human males with extremely large penises.  I’m talking penises slightly longer than ten and a quarter inches long measured from the top, and with plenty of girth.  If one takes into account not only the mass of such a penis, but the undoubtedly greater power such a penis would have to propel itself through the air, one sees that the sheer momentum generated by such penises could cause bodily harm to the females at which they were launched.

Such a situation would be very detrimental to well endowed males because society, motivated both by concern for women’s well being and outright jealousy, would surely impose harsh laws against the launching of large penises.  It would also be detrimental to all women, who would now find their love of large penises conflicting with concerns for their physical safety.  As it stands now, any woman would love to be married to a normal human being with a ten inch penis for obvious reasons.  However, what if that penis had the tendancy to fly in the kitchen while she is washing the dishes, and bash her in the head?

Eventually, selective forces would drive the human penis to get ever smaller, until women would only laugh cruelly at most of the small penises launched at them.  Of course they would only laugh for a moment, and then regain their composure and try to be complimentary, but the damage would be done.  The females would have no pleasure, and the males would be shamed and emasculated.  Let us be content, then, with our large non-detachable penises.


Jason and the Argonaut’s Detachable Penis

The argonaut, or paper nautilus, is a small octopus found in the open-ocean known for their attractive shells.  In fact it’s only the females of the species that produce the shells, whereas the males of the species are dwarfed and shell-less, but I would say equally magnificent. Why, you ask? On account of their detachable penis, of course.

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